Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
