bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
try to milk me bitch
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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