Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize