The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
