You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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