I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize