My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
