Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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