you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
