I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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