His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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