i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
