fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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