As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
