He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
