The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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