ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
