The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize