I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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