at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
