omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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