I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
