Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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