would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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