Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
