that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
