with your own penis?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
