You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
