If that was your dad, he is hot
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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