I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
