Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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