I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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