You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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