She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
