tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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