Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
