508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What a dumb baby whore.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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