my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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