I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
