i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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