I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
