turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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