I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
