no, he came in my armpit
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
