We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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