"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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