I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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