one might say we're banned from that church
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
