i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
