yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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