Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
