thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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