I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize