Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
