White coat. Heels.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you bring me the toilet please
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
