And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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