Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
