Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize