it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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