Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
