New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So much rum. So many feels.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
